Independents

Squirrel Spotting: The Necessity of Open-Ended Questions

IndependentsNov 21, 2016

Squirrel Spotting: The Necessity of Open-Ended Questions

Peter Smith discusses the possibilities that come with asking customers to talk about the person for whom they are buying.

2016-Peter_Smith_copy.jpg
Peter Smith has more than 30 years of experience building wholesale and retail sales teams. He currently is president of Vibhor Gems.

I’ve been busy these past few weeks conducting Vibhor launch trainings at various stores around the country.

In rolling out our private label program to retailers, I try to accomplish two important and complimentary ends. First, I want to convey those things that make our program relevant and exciting to retailers and to their customers. In the second instance, I try to convey some basic but essential sales principles that are, unfortunately, more often discussed than they are practiced.

One of those sales disciplines that I speak to is the necessity for salespeople to ask open-ended questions. The concept is not new. In fact, I remember there being a lot of chatter about that back in the 1980’s and, I am quite certain, some of you may go back even further in remembering when you first heard the term.

Having said that, it is, quite frankly, remarkable how rarely we as consumers are exposed to quality open-ended questions and, if we are being perfectly honest, how infrequently the art form is used in retail stores.

In the course of the training, one of the questions I suggest is, “Can you tell me about the person you are buying for?” The question itself appears to be rather innocuous and is not likely to set any pulses racing with its creativity or originality. If you peel back the layers of that question, however, you just might see it as a uniquely profound and potentially rich asset in the narrative of engaged retail salespeople.

There are two different psychological components at work in asking the question. The first is the empathic engagement that is communicated when you invite a person to tell you about someone who is important to them. The neurological effects of the question, delivered with warmth and sincerity, releases oxytocin in the brain, and that can serve as a great platform to make an emotional connection and begin to build a relationship. It’s as if you are saying, “I really want to know what matters to you.”

In the book Status Anxiety, Alain de Botton wrote, “There is something at once sobering and absurd in the extent to which we are lifted by the attention of others and sunk by their disregard. Our mood may blacken because a colleague greets us distractedly or our telephone calls go unreturned.”

In the second instance, when you insert “...the person you are buying for,” it sets yet

another psychological principle in play, because what you are actually doing is priming the customer. You are unconsciously setting the table for them to engage with you not with a view to gathering information but with the intent to actually make a purchase. By using the word buying, you are tapping into the customer’s oftentimes latent desire to actually buy something, even as he or she may consciously believe they came in to kick a few tires.

A retail store is a mini-stage and it provides great moments of drama every single day. You are presented with opportunities to make a difference--for your customers, your store and your career--every time a customer honors you by visiting your place of business. Approaching each and every one of those opportunities with the mindset that the customer has come in to actually make a purchase, and using deliberate and purposeful language in engaging those customers, can be game-changing.

As we enter into the most important few weeks of the year why not give it a try, and let me know how it works out for you.

Peter Smith, author of Hiring Squirrels: 12 Essential Interview Questions to Uncover Great Retail Sales Talent, has spent more than 30 years building sales teams at retail and at wholesale. He currently is president of Vibhor Gems. Email him at peter@vibhorgems.com, dublinsmith@yahoo.com or reach him on LinkedIn.
Peter Smithis an industry consultant, speaker, and sales trainer, and author of 3 books on sales. Reach him at TheRetailSmiths@gmail.com.

The Latest

trend retail.jpg
PodcastsJan 12, 2026
The latest poscast

test

Screenshot from 2026-01-12 06-22-03.png
PodcastsJan 12, 2026
New podcast without sponsor

test

20210205_Alexia_Connellan_Gatsby_earrings.jpg
TrendsJan 12, 2026
New test Article

test article

trend ss21@2x.jpg
Brought to you by
new sponsored article

test

2019_De_Beers_rough_NEW_1.jpg
PodcastsJan 12, 2026
New sponsored podcast

test

Weekly QuizOct 03, 2024
This Week’s Quiz
Test your jewelry news knowledge by answering these questions.
Take the Quiz
MNQ FINAL - NJ web - 1872 x 1052 px.png
PodcastsJan 12, 2026
Introducing My Next Question, the Podcast

A monthly podcast series for jewelry professionals

Screenshot from 2025-12-31 12-03-28.png
PodcastsDec 31, 2025
Test new podcast post

Test new podcast post

Jewelers Mutual Group Cybersecurity
Brought to you by
Navigating Cybersecurity: Essential Guidance for Jewelers

From protecting customer data to safeguarding inventory records, it's crucial to learn how to tackle cybersecurity challenges.

MNQ - studio - screen -1920 x 1080.png
PodcastsDec 29, 2025
Molly Test Podcast Episode

This is the abstract for Molly Test Podcast Episode

image 169 (4 col).png
PodcastsDec 10, 2025
Podcast With Video

Podcast Without Video or Audio or Image

image 169 (4 col).jpg
Recorded WebinarsDec 04, 2025
New Recorded Webinar for tests

New Recorded Webinar for tests

User-Avatar-PNG-Picture.png
PodcastsDec 03, 2025
Test Article Title

test Abstract

20210204_Couture_show_shot.jpg
PodcastsDec 02, 2025
New podcast

test desc

Screenshot from 2025-12-05 13-54-41.png
PodcastsNov 27, 2025
Test Podcast With Video

Test Podcast With Video. New interview with Ada Lovelace.

Image for tests
PodcastsNov 25, 2025
Test New Podcast Post

Abstract for tests. New Podcast interview with John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morison.

National Jeweler columnist Peter Smith
ColumnistsOct 09, 2024
Peter Smith: 7 Things to Know When Selling Luxury

Ahead of the holiday season, Smith delves into the often subconscious reasons people buy luxury products for themselves or their loved ones.

Edgar Mitchell wearing Rolex watch on Apollo 14
AuctionsOct 09, 2024
Rolex Worn on Apollo 14 Mission Up for Sale

The GMT-Master “Pepsi” belonging to astronaut Edgar Mitchell is a standout in RR Auction’s online “Space Auction,” going on now.

Simon meet me at the mall campaign
MajorsOct 09, 2024
New Simon Campaign Invites Gen Z to ‘Meet Me At The Mall’

The ads celebrate the mall culture of the ‘80s and ‘90s.

Platinum Guild International training
MajorsOct 09, 2024
PGI Launches New Virtual Sales Training

Retail sales associates can access the video series on mobile to refresh their selling skills.

Gathering at Bharat Diamond Bourse for COVID vaccinations
Policies & IssuesOct 09, 2024
GJNRF: Reaching Out, Rebuilding Futures

For 25 years, India’s Gem & Jewellery National Relief Foundation has provided aid in the wake of war, natural disasters, and global crises.

Sotheby’s A Tsar’s Treasure: Ferdinand of Bulgaria
AuctionsOct 08, 2024
Sotheby’s Selling Jewelry That Belonged to a Bulgarian Tsar

The November auction will feature a collection of jewels owned by Ferdinand I, the first king of modern Bulgaria, and his family.

Rough diamonds mined at the Diavik Diamond Mine
SourcingOct 08, 2024
Rio Tinto Begins New Phase of Production That Will Extend Diavik’s Life

Commercial production has begun underground at the Canadian diamond mine’s A21 pipe.

Stock image of hand holding phone by keyboard
SurveysOct 08, 2024
What to Know About Online Shopping This Holiday Season

Deloitte and Adobe Analytics shared their insights on the season, from the retail sales forecast to the role of generative AI.

Sylvie and Uncommon Man Campaign
CollectionsOct 08, 2024
Sylvie Adds New Men’s Bands

The Texas-based jeweler collaborated with luxury clothing brand Uncommon Man on men’s bands designed with European influences.

Diamond on polishing wheel Venus Jewel India
SourcingOct 08, 2024
Is Current Diamond Industry Turbulence Shaping a ‘New Normal’?

Industry players have found ways to cope with market conditions while working to reshape themselves in the face of emerging realities.

Rio Tinto 2024 Beyond RareTM Tender Art Series
SourcingOct 07, 2024
Rio Tinto to Offer 76 Diamonds in 2024 Beyond Rare Tender

The sales event, in its second year, features a selection of rare diamonds from the miner’s Argyle and Diavik diamond mines.

Kristi Yamaguchi and Scott Heller
CollectionsOct 07, 2024
Olympian Kristi Yamaguchi Partners With Heller Jewelers on New Collection

A portion of the proceeds from the “Always Dream” collection will go to Yamaguchi's foundation, supporting early childhood literacy.

×

This site uses cookies to give you the best online experience. By continuing to use & browse this site, we assume you agree to our Privacy Policy